Friday, May 11, 2012

When Trying to Fit Into Someone Else's Box...DON'T

It's been almost two months since my last entry! I've missed you! I'm getting back on the wagon. There is a ton of exciting new developments on the horizon and I want to share them with you. This journey is continuous and ever evolving. This blog has been my lifeline at times, the outlet of healing, growth and restoration. Neglecting it, is neglecting me. Let's GO!

One of the many reasons I started The King's Daughters, Inc. was to celebrate collective individualism. That sounds like an oxymoron. What do I mean? I mean we are all part of a bigger picture, but the detailed uniqueness of who we are is on purpose. Our personality and physical features separate us and make us different and special.

I once dated someone who tried to put me in their 'box.' They critiqued how I looked, how dressed, my personality and the list goes on. For a while, I tried to alter and edit myself to fit in their box. Until it became apparent, their dimensions didn't match my uniqueness.When I stopped trying to fit, I realized I had become insecure. I was constantly second guessing my decisions, unsure about my appearance and confused about my personal goals. I was unsure of who I was. The King's Daughters, Inc. grew out of a place of hurt, but became a channel for healing and restoration for me and others.

Through TKD, I learned how to re-accept myself. I also learned that others had similar challenges. I wasn't the only one struggling with loving myself fully. 

It's great to be friends with people of similar interests, but it's normally not what makes the most dynamic relationships. That comes from people of different backgrounds, different experiences and different skillsets. You'll never be ALL that someone else wants you to be. The greatest and most honest gift we can give to anyone is our self. It's cliche, but there really is no one like you. Not exactly... There may be some striking resemblances or uncanny similarities, but you really are one of kind, made in God's image. Matthew 10:30 says even the hairs on our head are numbered. God cares about our uniqueness. He loves it and celebrates it.

Knowing that in God's eyes, my 'make-up,' is accepted took a long time to sink in. Growing up, you have so many people telling you what to do and unfortunately too many outlets telling you how to think. If you follow them all to the letter without ever raising questions, you'll become a robot. Someone who just does what their told.

People can either chose to accept you...or not. And if they chose the latter, oh well. You're special enough that if someone chooses you, YOU should be enough. One thing I love about Jesus is that He accepted people He encountered, but didn't leave them that way. Every one in relationship with Jesus was changed. The same is true for great friendships. Great friends accept you for who you are, but after the experience, you're not the same. You're better, wiser, and stronger.

Don't miss out on the fullness of great relationships by trying to 'fit in.' Bring your full self. Don't short change others, by holding back or editing yourself. The authenticity of who you are can't be replaced or copied. Love yourself for exactly who God made you to be.


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