Blessed People...this is a letter I received from a new reader, that I wanted to share. It really warmed my heart.
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Dear Kristen, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog. It blessed me so. I've been going through some rough things myself and find myself not the joyful Joy I was intended to be or the one I used to be. Thanks for the ray of hope. Also, I'm going to send your blog site out to others I know that would be blessed by it.
I design quilt patterns and make scripture prints with me photographs and scriptures from the Bible and inspiration. I would like to offer you one of my prints. Go to www.beejoyfulquilts.com/prints and pick out whichever print you would like. DO NOT click on the paypal button, but e-mail me back and let me know which one you want and I'll send it to you in the mai. It's just my way of saying "Thanks" for sharing and blessing me and others. I hope that you find one you will want.
May God take care of you and bless you bunches.
Joy
Word of the Day: Philippians 2:11
Always empowering,
Billionairess
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Tis This Season to be Joyful: I Gotta Testify about my RAINBOW!
My apologies for taking almost three weeks away from the blogosphere. As 2008 comes to a close my focus is sharpened and leisure time is more scarce.
I hope you all enjoyed a blessed Thanksgiving with loved ones. It's hard to believe CHRISTmas is almost upon us. Although the year has not been a blur, it has passed by rather quickly and even though the year is not over I will at least walk into 2009 with one extremely beneficial life sustaning lesson. That is: always having JOY and PEACE. I fought extremely hard for most of this year to hold on to my joy and peace. I cried out to God many many nights in tears and frustration. Not having these too major assets overflowing in my life affected most every area of my life: my performance at work, my relationships with co-workers, family and most importantly my relationship with myself.
(Here's transparent Kristen)
Basically, for most of 2008 I was depressed. Since, I'm not a doctor, I don't feel completely liberated to diagnose myself, but what I did and do know is...Kristen. Naturally, I am a happy, joyful person. This year I was the complete opposite. I was heavy burdened, unhappy and putting on a face to hide it. Mentally, I had no confidence in who God has made me to be, the person I have always been so proud to be and I could not concentrate or focus. Emotionally, I was empty and wounded. Physically, my body told the story (facial breakouts, signs of excema, sickness). Spiritually, I was broken and desperate for a major breakthrough.
I was pressing through daily emotional heartbreak and denial that the person I loved somewhere deep down inside loved me back and would show it. The first heartbreak, I assume is always the hardest. God, I hope that's the last time I will ever have to experience it. I love hard, so hard that it hurts. That may sound crazy to some...but it's honest. I don't fall in love easy, but when I do I stay there and it takes mighty mountains to move me from that place. As a result of that I spent most of the year avoiding eye contact with the opposite sex as my confidence and self esteem was so low. Feelings of interal and external rejection dominated my thoughts.
Additionally this year, I began using a product on my face that resulted in a volitale breakout that lasted for a straight month and wouldn't stop. The scars it left behind are costing me hundreds of dollars a month to correct. (Thank God for health insurance). One day I will post the before, during and soon-to-be after pictures.
I spent the greater part of this year running myself in the ground to achieve my dreams. Working 9-9 and staying up late in the studio and on the weekends in addition to stepping up my involvement at church. By July, I was physically tapped out. Most of the activities, however were band-aids for dealing with my real issues and they gave me something to talk about and to work towards.
Then finally...breakthrough came. In the form of people, intercessors, revelations, light and most importantly: JOY and PEACE. Somewhere along the way, God closed some doors, opened other doors and handed me a rainbow. The rainbow after what was almost a year long storm is my JOY and my PEACE. It's the rainbow I will always keep with me where ever I go.
Faith is an interesting force. It makes no logical sense to believe in something you can not see, touch, feel, smell and taste. But when nothing else seems to work and the world can not offer you any solutions for your issues, faith is your lifeline. It's your I-V. It's your life support.
Why am I sharing all of this with you...because someone needs to hear it. This is my record to look back at life and see how far I have come. It's my living journal to inspire, motivate and empower people.
By September, I began to see the light at the end of this tunnel only to make a right turn to continue the journey in a new direction. I wanted to put this whole year behind me as a failure and a loss. Quite the contrary. This year has been lesson after lesson after test after seed sown after prayer after cry to God till now my TESTIMONY.
Restoration is my Testimony. The Lord is balancing the scales now. My experiences were not in vain, rather preparation for a higher level. The tears were not in vain. The pain was not in vain. This year 2008 was not a waste. We really are puzzles that the Lord has the ability to put back together. He makes us whole. Not any person, not any thing, not any life changing event...just God. Without him, you really are insufficent, and without hope.
In times like the ones we are experiencing now my greatest assets are my JOY and my PEACE and an UNSTOPPABLE, UNBREAKABLE FAITH. They are my sustaining counterparts as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I'm not scared and not I'm apologetic about who God has made me to be and what he's brought me through OR where he's taking me.
I appreciate you for listening...reading, whatever. Taking it all in with me...LOL.
Till we share on the couch of Kristen again. :-)
Word of the day: Philippians 2:4
Honestly,
The Billionairess
I hope you all enjoyed a blessed Thanksgiving with loved ones. It's hard to believe CHRISTmas is almost upon us. Although the year has not been a blur, it has passed by rather quickly and even though the year is not over I will at least walk into 2009 with one extremely beneficial life sustaning lesson. That is: always having JOY and PEACE. I fought extremely hard for most of this year to hold on to my joy and peace. I cried out to God many many nights in tears and frustration. Not having these too major assets overflowing in my life affected most every area of my life: my performance at work, my relationships with co-workers, family and most importantly my relationship with myself.
(Here's transparent Kristen)
Basically, for most of 2008 I was depressed. Since, I'm not a doctor, I don't feel completely liberated to diagnose myself, but what I did and do know is...Kristen. Naturally, I am a happy, joyful person. This year I was the complete opposite. I was heavy burdened, unhappy and putting on a face to hide it. Mentally, I had no confidence in who God has made me to be, the person I have always been so proud to be and I could not concentrate or focus. Emotionally, I was empty and wounded. Physically, my body told the story (facial breakouts, signs of excema, sickness). Spiritually, I was broken and desperate for a major breakthrough.
I was pressing through daily emotional heartbreak and denial that the person I loved somewhere deep down inside loved me back and would show it. The first heartbreak, I assume is always the hardest. God, I hope that's the last time I will ever have to experience it. I love hard, so hard that it hurts. That may sound crazy to some...but it's honest. I don't fall in love easy, but when I do I stay there and it takes mighty mountains to move me from that place. As a result of that I spent most of the year avoiding eye contact with the opposite sex as my confidence and self esteem was so low. Feelings of interal and external rejection dominated my thoughts.
Additionally this year, I began using a product on my face that resulted in a volitale breakout that lasted for a straight month and wouldn't stop. The scars it left behind are costing me hundreds of dollars a month to correct. (Thank God for health insurance). One day I will post the before, during and soon-to-be after pictures.
I spent the greater part of this year running myself in the ground to achieve my dreams. Working 9-9 and staying up late in the studio and on the weekends in addition to stepping up my involvement at church. By July, I was physically tapped out. Most of the activities, however were band-aids for dealing with my real issues and they gave me something to talk about and to work towards.
Then finally...breakthrough came. In the form of people, intercessors, revelations, light and most importantly: JOY and PEACE. Somewhere along the way, God closed some doors, opened other doors and handed me a rainbow. The rainbow after what was almost a year long storm is my JOY and my PEACE. It's the rainbow I will always keep with me where ever I go.
Faith is an interesting force. It makes no logical sense to believe in something you can not see, touch, feel, smell and taste. But when nothing else seems to work and the world can not offer you any solutions for your issues, faith is your lifeline. It's your I-V. It's your life support.
Why am I sharing all of this with you...because someone needs to hear it. This is my record to look back at life and see how far I have come. It's my living journal to inspire, motivate and empower people.
By September, I began to see the light at the end of this tunnel only to make a right turn to continue the journey in a new direction. I wanted to put this whole year behind me as a failure and a loss. Quite the contrary. This year has been lesson after lesson after test after seed sown after prayer after cry to God till now my TESTIMONY.
Restoration is my Testimony. The Lord is balancing the scales now. My experiences were not in vain, rather preparation for a higher level. The tears were not in vain. The pain was not in vain. This year 2008 was not a waste. We really are puzzles that the Lord has the ability to put back together. He makes us whole. Not any person, not any thing, not any life changing event...just God. Without him, you really are insufficent, and without hope.
In times like the ones we are experiencing now my greatest assets are my JOY and my PEACE and an UNSTOPPABLE, UNBREAKABLE FAITH. They are my sustaining counterparts as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I'm not scared and not I'm apologetic about who God has made me to be and what he's brought me through OR where he's taking me.
I appreciate you for listening...reading, whatever. Taking it all in with me...LOL.
Till we share on the couch of Kristen again. :-)
Word of the day: Philippians 2:4
Honestly,
The Billionairess
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Stretch My Muscles - Freestyle III
***SHINING STAR***
Light in the dark
Joy in the pain
Love that rains
Love that pours
I'm a Beauty with a name
Unique amongst many
Charming outside and in
Laughter begins at the sight of him
Tried to put me in a box
Tried to make me his "bot"
Oppress and depress my shine
Blow out my twinkle
My candle burned too bright
The flame of my heart
Passionate from the start
Not ashamed to show my affection
Open about my intentions
Unique amongst many
Different from the plenty
Called out from the crowd
Told me I was less
Not quite right
Imperfect in his eyes
But well able between the thighs
Still not good enough
My vision is a little blurry
My hearing is a little a worried
Because now his opinion counts
His voice sounds in my sleep
When I wake up
I spend the day in night
Dark rules over the light
Mind over matter
Life over death
Air for my breath
Healing for my heart
Bruised and scarred
Mr. Right turned into Mr. Wrong
His name changed
When he changed his tune
Sang the wrong song
"Bump n' Grind" instead of "All my Life" (LOL)
"Bump n' Grind" instead of "All my Life" (LOL)
What happens when the stars go dim
No hope the future
No kisses under Moonlight
No hugs at Midnight
The whole world is waiting for me
To turn my light back on
Glow in the dark
Illuminate greater than Times Square
Light brighter than Rockefeller Center
What happens when a star goes dim
She needs to be turned on again
This time the switch is from within
A place hidden in secret
Where no one can see it
Or turn the tables
Or break her heart
Shine bright little star!
The whole world is waiting for your arrival
Midnight into Daylight
New life is growing
Seasons change
But your light remains
***To all my stars...his opinion never mattered. SHINE BRIGHT! YOU ARE THE LIGHT***
Word of the Day: Proverbs 28:20
Shining,
The Billionairess
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
VICTORIOUS IN A HISTORIC BATTLE
Do you know what it's like to be the first? The first to intergrate a school; the first to win an award; the first in your family to finish college. Being the first carries a huge responsibility and creates a long-lasting legacy. No matter who comes after you, you paved the way, you set the stage and you made it possible for someone else with similar hopes and dreams to follow. You lead the pack. At 5:30am on Tuesday morning, my roommate and I got in line to elect the first African American to the White House.On, November 4th at 11pm, Senator Barack Obama became the first African-American President of the United States of America. This momumental moment in time has changed the perspective of not only Americans but people all over the world. It can be argued that no other US Presidential election has garnered this much media attention and public support. President Obama crossed color lines, changed the game of politics and created a campaign that was truly for the people and by the people.
While President Obama has more than his share of a mess to clean up and country to rebuild
, I believe we are going to see prosperity arise again in the lives of everyday people. People who have been oppressed by the last eight years due to the downturn of the politics and economy in this country. Thankfully, Pres. Obama has the majority of the nation's support to make his message of hope and change a reality.
, I believe we are going to see prosperity arise again in the lives of everyday people. People who have been oppressed by the last eight years due to the downturn of the politics and economy in this country. Thankfully, Pres. Obama has the majority of the nation's support to make his message of hope and change a reality. Americans must exercise patience during the Obama administration. It didn't take four years for this country to be turned upside down and four years may not be enough to turn back right side up. However, since God is still in control it can take an instant to change from one state of being to another. In an instant we will say goodbye to President Bush and hello to a refreshing change. I'm ready. The best is truly yet to come!
Our First Lady Michelle Obama who I must say is the finest example of leadership, poise and brilliance, is dedicated to issues concerning working mothers and our children. As a single woman with the desire to be married and have children one day, this gives me great hope! The Obamas are more than the first African American couple in the White House. They are a force for change. They are the best represention of the "United States." They're tireless efforts have brought this country together again for a common goal. Watching the media coverage in my hometown of Chicago in Grant Park was tingling. It looked like a Michael Jackson concert when he performed "We are the World!" This victory is not only for Black people, but all races, religions and backgrounds.
I have attended predominately African American schools with the exception of my high school years. Being surrounded by other high achievers that looked like me has always given me pride in my race. However, the combination of living in New York City, working with and befriending all races, and volunteering for this campaign helped to remove the "I only see Black" veil from my eyes. Don't get me wrong. I have never been more proud to be an African American, but embracing other cultures without pretence and prejudice has been equally as liberating.
My final words come from my Father (my hero, mentor, the greatest):
"I'm going on the radio in the next hour to address what does last night's election mean.
For our parents and grandparents, I believe this was validation of a group of people whom the country told all their lives they were not as good.
For my generation it should be fuel to move toward those goals that seemed out of reach.
For the next generation it will mean there is no excuse for anything less than excellence.
This has a lot more to do with the future than the past. These were not reparations. Another door that was closed is now open. But, in order for us to walk through that door still requires that we are the best of the best."
For our parents and grandparents, I believe this was validation of a group of people whom the country told all their lives they were not as good.
For my generation it should be fuel to move toward those goals that seemed out of reach.
For the next generation it will mean there is no excuse for anything less than excellence.
This has a lot more to do with the future than the past. These were not reparations. Another door that was closed is now open. But, in order for us to walk through that door still requires that we are the best of the best."
Word of the Day: Psalm 27:14 (The Best is yet to come!)
Inspired,
The Billionairess
PS - The links below are should continue to inspire you to stay the course, remain steadfast and never give up! xo
Sunday, November 2, 2008
INSPIRED
It's Sunday evening and I'm at the office. Doesn't sound like much fun, but its purposeful. The office is quiet right now (except that I am listening to the Idlewild soundtrack) making focus and clarity evident. I plan to write this into my weekend; a few hours on Sat or Sun, I will come in the office to work on work, song writing and the KINGDOM VISION.The weekend has been full of celebrations. My girlfriend and fellow choir songstress Aja just got promoted at her job! My past and future travelling compadre Marcus passed the South Carolina State bar! Yesterday's message at church confirmed my life in full: the year I have had, my present day and what's to come!! To celebrate, some friends and I went out to stuff our faces and feed our souls with shouts of joy in light of all the great things happening!
This afternoon I had brunch at Max Brenners with my good friend Arin who's also pursuing her passion of singing and recording: http://myspace.com/arinmayamusic, http://noseandeyelashes.blogspot.com/. (Check out this glowing beauty). The conversation and mix of creative energy was the perfect yellow light during my day. We talked music, travels, experiences in NYC (we're both from the WINDY) and the journey of life. On our mission to good food, we ran into some locally and internationally known musicians underground in Union Station's subway. The "Hypnotic Brass Ensemble" (http://hypnoticbrass.blogspot.com/, http://www.myspace.com/hypnoticbusiness - pic above) also from the WINDY have toured with Mos Def, and independently released two albums. Arin knows them personally and I only remembered them vaguely from seeing them play underground in Times Square. They sounded so professional and played with much passion like "The Roots." I did what any music lover would do...I bought their cd for $10.00. I got home, listened to album and was thankful I spent the money. That was at least a year ago. Fast forward to today, after touring internationally, performing with Mos Def, gaining a significant fan base, I find them underground playing with the same passion and musicanship. I'm inspired.
We all have to start somewhere. No matter how small, the key is to never give up. Never quit. The seeds you sow today, will bear the fruit you enjoy tomorrow. Keep the same momentum and excitement about that thing you're working on from Day 1 to Day 365.
Additionally (my new favorite word), I saw Sen. (soon to be Pres.) Barack Obama live from Ohio on CSPAN today. Do you agree that if you have seen Sen. Obama speak, you can't help but be inspired. His journey, his passion, his faith and his diligence to stay the course no matter the obstacles is inpsiring. Are you convinced that VICTORY is going to take place on Tuesday? Don't doubt, just believe. If you are not on the Obama side of things...it's cool. I respect all points of view. Just know, he's gonna WIN. :-) xo Regardless of your viewpoint, excercise your RIGHT and your AUTHORITY to VOTE on Tuesday, November 4th. Take part in this historical election. We will never travel this road again.
Word of the Day: Proverbs 18:21
Always Inspiring,
"The Billionairess"
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I Gotta Testify - II
The praise reports continue! This week has been full of small victories that add up to make a major impact.
Many people that I didn't even know read my ramblings told me that my last testimony (praise report) blessed them and encouraged them to keep fighting the good fight of faith. So I plan to continue sharing my good favor. Be encouraged during uncertain times in this world. We win...no matter what!
Here's my recap in order from Monday to last night.
Monday:
I participate in the transit check program at work which allows you to pay for your metro cards pre-taxed. I normally pay for a monthly metro card that has unlimited usage for 30 days. By about October 7th, I lost my metro card. I called MTA to find that it could not be replaced. I prayed and asked God what to do and he said ask for what you want, because your needs are already met. I told my boss that I lost the card; the first time in two years with this company and he didn't hesitate at all to replace my monthly metro card on the spot! Monday, I dropped the new metro card in the open space where the floor and elevator meet in my office building You can imagine my thinking. This was the replacement card! So at the end of the day I took at step of faith and told our security officials in the building what happened. I showed them the elevator where I dropped the card and they called their service men to go downstairs into the basement of our office building. Within five minutes the service men came back upstairs with with my metro card! Such a WOW moment. Praise Him! (I'm holding on to this card for dear life!)
Tuesday:
My DVD player has not been working for months. Since I am not home enough to watch DVD's it does not bother me that much. This past Saturday my roommate and I wanted to watch a movie in the living room and of course the DVD player wasn't working. She asked me when I was going to get a new one LOL. I said mostly likely around Christmas. Just to back up a bit, last week one of my bestest, Toya asked me if I could buy anything for myself right now what would it be. I said a DVD player. Tuesday, my brand new DVD player arrived at work compliments of Toya! I was in amazement of fast God worked and so excited to believe God for "much more" more often!
Wednesday:
I came home after Bible Study and in my normal routine I checked the mail. Thankfully there was only one bill! Lol. I opened the Con Edison bill(excuse the step by step) and could not believe my eyes. As a sidenote my power bill hit astronomical numbers this past summer so when I saw the bill, I truthfully could not believe my eyes. It says we owe 93 cents! In total!
My roommate and I can not explain it. It reads that we paid last month's bill and this month's bill in the last month's cycle. Neither one of us can account for this. It may sound crazy or out there but when my bills come I immediately pray a simple prayer asking God to pay them, confess a cooresponding scripture, and then thank him for doing so. This is amazing! My Father is working faster than I can keep up!! Time for another Praise Dance!!!
DREAM BIG - EXPECT EVEN BIGGER - AND WHEN YOU GET IT...TELL SOMEONE!!!
Word of the day: Revelation 3:10
Lovingly,
"Billionairess"
Many people that I didn't even know read my ramblings told me that my last testimony (praise report) blessed them and encouraged them to keep fighting the good fight of faith. So I plan to continue sharing my good favor. Be encouraged during uncertain times in this world. We win...no matter what!
Here's my recap in order from Monday to last night.
Monday:
I participate in the transit check program at work which allows you to pay for your metro cards pre-taxed. I normally pay for a monthly metro card that has unlimited usage for 30 days. By about October 7th, I lost my metro card. I called MTA to find that it could not be replaced. I prayed and asked God what to do and he said ask for what you want, because your needs are already met. I told my boss that I lost the card; the first time in two years with this company and he didn't hesitate at all to replace my monthly metro card on the spot! Monday, I dropped the new metro card in the open space where the floor and elevator meet in my office building You can imagine my thinking. This was the replacement card! So at the end of the day I took at step of faith and told our security officials in the building what happened. I showed them the elevator where I dropped the card and they called their service men to go downstairs into the basement of our office building. Within five minutes the service men came back upstairs with with my metro card! Such a WOW moment. Praise Him! (I'm holding on to this card for dear life!)
Tuesday:
My DVD player has not been working for months. Since I am not home enough to watch DVD's it does not bother me that much. This past Saturday my roommate and I wanted to watch a movie in the living room and of course the DVD player wasn't working. She asked me when I was going to get a new one LOL. I said mostly likely around Christmas. Just to back up a bit, last week one of my bestest, Toya asked me if I could buy anything for myself right now what would it be. I said a DVD player. Tuesday, my brand new DVD player arrived at work compliments of Toya! I was in amazement of fast God worked and so excited to believe God for "much more" more often!
Wednesday:
I came home after Bible Study and in my normal routine I checked the mail. Thankfully there was only one bill! Lol. I opened the Con Edison bill(excuse the step by step) and could not believe my eyes. As a sidenote my power bill hit astronomical numbers this past summer so when I saw the bill, I truthfully could not believe my eyes. It says we owe 93 cents! In total!
My roommate and I can not explain it. It reads that we paid last month's bill and this month's bill in the last month's cycle. Neither one of us can account for this. It may sound crazy or out there but when my bills come I immediately pray a simple prayer asking God to pay them, confess a cooresponding scripture, and then thank him for doing so. This is amazing! My Father is working faster than I can keep up!! Time for another Praise Dance!!!
DREAM BIG - EXPECT EVEN BIGGER - AND WHEN YOU GET IT...TELL SOMEONE!!!
Word of the day: Revelation 3:10
Lovingly,
"Billionairess"
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
DREAM BIG - EXPECT EVEN BIGGER!
A famous filmmaker said, "I dream for a living." When I first heard this it sounded so abstract. Probably because I was processing this statement with my logical, over analytical mind, instead of my creative, loving, ever hopeful heart.
Do you remember when you were a child and you used to DREAM BIG and EXPECT BIG? There was nothing in life that you could not imagine accomplishing. Your thoughts were vast beyond your own ability. About a month ago, I realized that I had not taken the time to just dream silently or aloud. I believe your dreams are your visions. Your visions are what is at the end of the road for your life. Everyday that you move in the direction of your vision you become closer to making your dream/vision a reality. If you stop dreaming your ability to visualize BIG shrinks and your expectation of life's returns diminishes.
I encourage you to SOW BIG SEEDS, DREAM BIG DREAMS and EXPECT BIG VICTORIES!
While we are on the subject of DREAMING BIG. The word Billionaire in reference to me has been used more times than I can count in the last few weeks. I have always believed that I would be used as a catalyst to move my already prospeous family to a higher level. Even though I was not quite sure how, I knew God had chosen me to be a major part of this process. Additionally, there is much work to be done in the earth before I ascend to heaven.
Since joining my church choir my memory for remembering songs has expanded, my vocal range has expanded, my attention to detail has sharpened, but something else major has happened. I have been surrounded, submerged and almost drowned in positive affirmation. My expectation of what I was going to receive when joining my church's choir was too small. My brothers and sisters reaffirm the gifts God has placed inside of me (2 Timothy 1:6) every time we are together! I have never had so many people that I just met some only a few months ago speak life into me! I get called a Billionaire at least twice a week. So, I humbly accept the call! Ha! Billionairess...I AM! (Destined to inherit my Father's Billions)
Although singing and songwriting is a huge part of my destiny, so is overcoming the world's system of operating with the Kingdom of God's way of operating. "...your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." (Matthew 6:10) This is going to take BIG money.
It's time for the: TAKEOVER, TAKEBACK and TURNAROUND! Holla!
Verse for the Day: Deuteronomy 30:19
In Expection,
"Billionairess"
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